Silver Lining
by FraidyCat01
Summary: It's Christmas at the Institute, and not everyone feels like celebrating. Although Will appears to be enjoying the season, Jem can't seem to rid himself of old memories that come back to haunt him. Can the one person Jem empathizes with help him to forget his past and realize the true meaning of Christmas? A one shot.


_**Silver Lining**_

**So, this is just a one-shot that I decided to write. I had wanted to write an Infernal Devices Christmas-based one-shot for the longest time, and I must say, I am very happy with this! **

**For me, Christmas holidays are officially over, and I wanted to hang onto the holiday season as much as possible (as I really don't want to go back to school!), so I thought a holiday fanfic was the perfect way to go! I wrote it so that you, as the reader, get a chance to see what is really going on in Jem and Will's mind during Christmas at the Institute, and it shows you my perspective on their inner personalities. The result may surprise some. It may not, too, depending on how you all perceive the two boys :P **

**It takes place post-Clockwork Angel, as it just makes more sense that way ;P But it will make more sense to those who have read both books. I hope you like it, and please review (don't tear it apart, as it is my first one-shot)! Oh, and one more thing: NO SLASH!**

Two things were playing on Will Herondale's mind as he hung the red, glass ball on the grand Christmas tree that took up a majority of the space in the Institute's foyer. The first being the fact that it was Christmas Eve, and he was secretly ten times more excited about this than Jessamine, who had been bouncing around the Institute since waking hour. Normally, Will wasn't one to get excited about something as silly as a time of year, but there was just something about Christmas in London that Will loved. It wasn't as if it was the bustling about and shopping that intrigued him. What Will _really_ liked about the holidays was the fact that everyone was too busy running around cooking and decorating to bother with him. That was Will's Christmas gift: peace and quiet. Even Jessamine pretended she knew a thing or two about decorating, and had stayed out of Will's way for most of the day while she put up Christmas decorations. And that wasn't all. Whether or not he chose to accept it, Will _had_ to admit: he loved Christmas in general too. Everything, from the colors, to the good mood it put everyone in, just made Will happy.

Of course, being Will, he didn't want people to actually know of his liking to the season. So, he'd just sulked around the Institute, pretending he had no feelings for the time of year, when really, his heart was bursting with excitement. He wanted everyone to feel the way he did about Christmas. This led for Will to acknowledge the second topic racing around his head: Jem Carstairs. While Will's feelings for the season were positive, his best friend's were quite the opposite. Saying that Jem hated the holidays would be an understatement. Jem, who was usually very sweet and genuine, had refused to even come out of his bedroom that morning. And Will knew why. Years ago, around this very time, Jem had been tortured by those demons who had introduced him to _Yin Fen_. And now, Jem's life depended on the drug, and every Christmas, he was reminded of the cause of not only his fatal addiction to it, but of his parents' deaths as well. This was another reason why Will always kept his real feelings about Christmas a secret. Having Jem know that Will adored the time of year that meant nothing but sorrow and suffering to him would probably break Jem's heart. Of course, that wasn't by any means the reason why Will liked Christmas, but Will knew Jem would take it that way regardless.

Too busy thinking about Jem, Will lost focus and dropped the crystal ornament he was currently hanging on the tree. It fell to the floor and shattered, the noise jerking Will back to reality. And at the moment, reality was Jessamine shouting at him.

"Will!" she whined, gesturing to the red glass shards on the floor, "Look what you did! And that one was my favourite, too! Better clean that up before Charlotte comes back."

"Too late." A voice sounded from the doorway. Both Will and Jessamine turned to see Charlotte enter the room carrying another box of ornaments. She set the box down on a stool next to Jessamine before facing Will. Will, who was convinced that Jessamine had said that the broken ornament was her favourite in order to bug him (as all the ornaments looked the same), stared down at the floor, studying his shoes in order to not meet Charlotte's eyes. He mumbled a quick apology, and to his relief, Charlotte told him not to worry.

"There are plenty of others, Will," she said, sweeping up the glass shards, "No sense in worrying about something so small." Jessamine's eyes widened in protest.

"But _Charlotte_!" she protested, jabbing a finger at Will, "He _broke an ornament_! He should be punished! Or at least be banned from 'tree-decorating' duty, as it seems that he cannot be trusted. Plus also, he's doing it wrong!"

"Do explain how I could possibly be decorating this tree wrong when all the ornaments are identical." Will said flatly. Jessamine rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Will," she huffed, "You'd think that one who loved the holidays so much would want to show a little more Christmas spirit."

"Look who's talking," Will replied, leaning casually against the doorframe, "And what makes you think I love the holidays?" He asked. He didn't remember giving any indication of his liking to the season, taking into account the fact that Will thought he had done a fine job of hiding his real thoughts about Christmas from the annoying blonde.

Jessamine smoothed her skirts. "I thought everyone loved the holidays," she said matter-of-factly, "Although I'm beginning to think that you may be an exception."

"If you were right, then I'd agree with you." said Will thoughtfully, "And by the way, Jessamine, the people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those that actually do."

Jessamine made a face. Charlotte turned a strict glare to the two teenagers.

"Oh, honestly, you two!" she sighed, "Can't you spend _five minutes_ in the same room together without fighting?"

"We could try," Will said innocently, "But it would be incredibly painful." Charlotte appeared to not even notice.

"Now there's a lot to do before tomorrow," she said, "And you two have proven yourselves to be nothing but nuisances! Will, quit bothering Jessamine, and go assist Thomas with carrying the remaining boxes of decorations up from storage. And Jessamine, go help Sophie find a centre-piece for the table. I'm quite sorry to say the ones she has come up with are dreadful!"

"Glad to know _someone_ appreciates fine decorating taste when they see it." Jessamine said. She stood up, and with a final glare at Will, disappeared into the hall. Will stood up too, but unlike Jessamine, he wasn't hurrying away to obey Charlotte's orders. He'd help Thomas later. Right now, there was something he needed to do.

Jem didn't even turn his head when he heard the door to his bedroom creak open. He didn't know who was entering, but, at the moment, he didn't really care. He didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment, and even when he recognized the lazy, careless-sounding footsteps heading his way to be Will's, he still didn't budge. He just sat at his windowsill, watching as snowflakes danced lazily to the ground. Jem supposed he should have been glad it was Will who was coming to see him. He didn't know what he would have done had it been Charlotte or Jessamine. They knew vaguely of the reason for his mood, but they would certainly still ask questions, and then the painful moment would follow when Jem would have to explain to them why he didn't feel like celebrating. At least Will knew. At least he wouldn't ask questions. This was one of the many reasons why Jem was thankful for his _Parabatai._

"Um, hi." Will said sheepishly, entering the room on tiptoe.

"Hullo." Jem replied, still staring out the window. His breath left a foggy patch on the glass.

"Lovely weather we're having, eh?" Will tried at humor.

"It's alright." Jem sighed. Will didn't give up.

"There's quite the party being prepared downstairs," he said, "And, if you go into the kitchen and sweet-talk Agatha, she'll even let you have a taste of the pudding she's preparing. I speak from personal experience, of course." Will paused for a moment, trying to come up with something else to say that would cheer his friend up. "Oh, and the tree is amazing!" he said, ignoring the fact that the enthusiasm packed into his tone made him sound like he was twelve again, "You would like it, Jem. Every single ornament on it is red, your favorite color! I accidentally broke one, and Jessamine, being the annoying little git she is, said it was her favorite. I swear if it wasn't Christmas, I would… Well anyway, Jem, you should come downstairs. It might help take your mind off things. Works for me."

"I know," Jem whispered, "It's just that the memories…they…they won't go away. No matter how hard I try to block them out, I can still hear my parents' screams. I can't get the hallucinations the _Yin Fen_ caused out of my head. And it's been about five years. _Five years_ of this, Will. And I absolutely hate myself for hanging on to the memories for this long. It's just hard to let go, you know?"

_And all who love you will die,_ an all-too-familiar voice sounded out in Will's head, _Their love will be their destruction._ And despite himself, Will found his heart skip a beat. He shuddered. _ Yes, _he thought, _I _do _know. I know exactly how you feel, Jem._

"Jem," Will began, "I know that there are things you…wish hadn't happened. But just don't let it stop you from living your life the way you want to. Don't let it bother you.

"It will always bother me." Jem replied, not looking at Will, "I'm sorry, Will, but I can't help it."

"How can something bother you if you won't let it?" Will asked. For that, Jem had no answer. That was usually how their discussions ended: with Will saying something clever and annoying at the same time, baffling Jem. But then something else dawned on Jem. Something that had been nagging on his mind.

"The drug is _killing _me, Will." Jem said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"We'll find a cure," Will said, his voice hard with determination. The tone in Will's voice caused Jem to forget whatever it was he was about to say. Jem knew that tone. It was the same tone Will used whenever he went into battle. It was the same tone he used whenever he fought with Jessamine. It was the tone that told whoever it was directed at that Will wasn't going to rest until he got what he wanted. Despite things, Jem found himself beginning to feel better. This was why Jem had agreed to become Will's _Parabatai._ Will never gave up. It was part of what made him so annoying, but it was also what Jem admired about his friend.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Will said, interrupting Jem's thoughts, "This is the reason I came to see you. I have something for you." Reaching into his inside pocket, Will pulled out a small package. It was a brown, paper bag, its top folded down.

"What?" Jem asked, startled. He turned around to look at Will, confusion making him narrow his silver eyes.

"I know, curious, isn't it?" Will grinned, "I picked this up on my way back from the Devil Tavern." He added, thrusting the bag in Jem's direction, "Um…Merry Christmas," he added awkwardly. He had never done anything like this before (not since he was twelve), and he didn't quite know what to do. Jem stared at him, making no move to take the package from him.

"Will," Jem sighed, running his hands through his hair—something he always did when he was nervous or scared, "Look, I appreciate it, but I don't think a present is going to help. Don't take this the wrong way, but it's just that my problem is much too complicated to be solved by a present."

"Ah, James," Will said, "You'd be surprised what a simple act of gift-giving can do." Although his tone wasn't serious, Jem could tell Will was no longer trying to be funny. Whenever Will called Jem by his real name, he was always serious. When Jem still didn't reach for the bag, Will sighed. He set the package down on Jem's trunk that sat at the end of his four-poster bed.

"Well, it's here if you want to open it." Will said softly. He then looked at Jem once more before leaving, talking care to close Jem's door on his way out.

As Will bid goodbye to Jem, and made his way to the dining room, he thought about what Jem had said. He knew that taking the _Yin Fen_ tore Jem apart emotionally, but he hadn't known it was doing so as badly as it was. Jem was like family to Will, and when Jem hurt, Will did also. Jem was the only person that kept Will in line, and who watched his back, protecting him, and making sure he stayed out of trouble. Will wasn't entirely sure where he would be without Jem. He had predictions, yes, but none of them were appealing in the least. Drunk in a bar, perhaps? Maybe even dead. Will shuddered at the very realistic possibility. When he had first arrived at the Institute, Will was sad, confused, and broken, distancing himself from anyone who tried to help him, pushing away all their attempts to comfort him. But Jem had been different. Jem hadn't pressured Will for answers about his past the way everyone else had. Jem had told Will he understood, and Will believed him. And for once in his life, Will had even felt empathy. The small, pale, silver-haired boy looked and acted like he had gone through times as rough as the ones Will had gone through. They had needed each other. They still did. When it came to emotions, Jem had always come across as the strong one. You always knew what Jem was feeling and why. Will was different. He always took everything personally, and was more of the type who kept his feelings inside, and replaced them with sarcasm and quick-witted comments. He always got a chance to release his anger or sadness during battle—one of the reasons he was so good. But no amount of fighting or talking back was going to help Will get over the fact that his one and only friend—his blood brother—was talking about his death.

Will sighed. He had come to a similar conclusion before, but had never chosen to fully recognize it until now: The only way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

Stepping into the foyer, Will noticed that Thomas had brought up all of the boxes by himself. Will knew he was supposed to feel guilty, but strangely enough, he felt nothing as he walked over to the nearest box, and began hanging its contents—more red ornaments—on the tree.

Jem stared after Will. He hadn't wanted his friend to leave. He realized a little too late that he wasn't being fair to Will. Jem figured he owed Will an apology, or at least an explanation. Jem wasn't one to let his emotions get the best of him. It was Will who had the reputation of concealing his emotions, not Jem. However, Jem now realized he could safely say that he was beginning to do the same. He had just passed down the perfect opportunity to tell Will how much taking the _Yin Fen_ killed him inside. Jem was now dependent on the drug: he needed it if he wanted to live. He hated how the drug controlled and restricted him. He hated how because of it, he wouldn't live much past his eighteenth year. And he couldn't tell anyone that because he had the reputation as the strong one, the one who didn't fall victim to his emotions. He wanted to tell Will, but something told Jem that Will just wouldn't understand it the way Jem did. But he didn't want to keep it to himself either. If there was one thing he learned from Will, it was that the less you opened your heart to others, the more your heart suffered. Jem's eyes rested on the bag Will had left on him. Sighing, Jem took the package off of the trunk. He figured that if he couldn't explain things to Will yet, the least he could do was open his gift. It wasn't wrapped, and still lay inside of the brown, paper bag it was bought in. Will was never one for tradition. In fact, Jem was surprised Will even bought him a present in the first place. Ever since his arrival to the institute, Will had made a great and successful effort to distance himself from anything that involved feelings or emotion, especially Christmas. Jem didn't ever bother to ask him why, only because he was pretty convinced that the answer would have some sort of a connection with Will's family. And no one asked Will about his family. Not anymore. Jem thought of something his father had told him long ago: "A lot of people seeking new beginnings have never finished with the past." At the time, Jem hadn't understood what his father had meant by that. Now he did. Will was so eager to put his past behind him, that he never stopped to think about how what he was doing was affecting him now. It was hard to put previous events behind you. The past was a very hard thing to let go of. Jem and Will of all people knew that. Jem turned his attention back to Will's gift.

There was no card or note that came with it, but Jem figured Will had said everything he needed to back when they were talking. Jem reached further down into the bag until he felt his fingers grasp an object. It felt like a chain or a chord of some sort. He pulled it out, and held it up to the window, letting the moonlight illuminate it. At first, the object was hard for Jem to see. But, as his eyes adjusted, he could see that sitting in his palm, was a silver chain. And at the end of the chain, there was a jade-green stone, almost as big around as Jem's palm. _Why did Will give me this?_ Jem wondered. Then, Jem felt his fingers brush something on the back. Turning the stone over, he saw that a symbol of some sort had been carved into it. It was too dark to tell what it was, and Jem had to move the stone around in the moonlight in order to make out the symbol. Finally, enough light rested on the stone for Jem to see that carved on into the rock was an all-too-familiar rune. This particular rune was familiar to both Jem and Will, as they both had it for the exact same reason: it was the _Parabatai_ rune. Closing his hand around the stone, Jem closed his eyes.

He then slipped the chain over his head, tucking the jade stone inside his shirt. "Merry Christmas, Will." Jem whispered. And for the first time that day, he smiled. Thanks to his _Parabatai_, Jem Carstairs could safely say that he now knew the true meaning of Christmas.

**Yep, I realize that it gets depressing towards the end. I wrote it while I was in a depressed mood, as that is usually when I write best. Not to mention the fact that I finished it at about 2:00 in the morning! :P But it is also inspiring in a way. I hope you all liked it, and please share your thoughts on it by reviewing ;) I felt the ending was a bit rushed, but I didn't know how else to end it, so if I can get your thoughts on it, that would be great!**

**This story is called "Silver Lining" because the expression "silver lining" means that there is always a bright side to situations (i.e. every cloud has a sliver lining), which was what Will was trying to tell Jem when he gave him the necklace (this is my idea of how Jem got it in the first place). Also, silver is the color of Jem's hair, which represented the reason why he was depressed. I added the **_**Parabatai**_** symbol on the necklace because I thought it was a nice touch, and fitted the situation nicely.**

**Also, I would like to thank the following people:**

-Deepak Chopra

-G.K. Chesterton

-Terri Guillemets

-Byron Pulsifer.

**I wanted a deep, meaningful, fluffy, friendship story, and in order to achieve that, I needed some nice quotes/sayings. So, I did some research, and in the end, I found some beautiful quotes said by these people that gave me inspiration for this story. Just thought I should mention that in case some of you recognize some of the sayings I used. :)**

**Thanks for reading, and I am currently writing a full TID fanfiction, hopefully to be posted sometime after midterms are done. (I want to post the entire thing at once). And don't forget: please review! MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Late, but, who cares? It's still kind of the Christmas season, and I never run out of Christmas spirit, haha)**

**-FraidyCat01 :) **

**P.S For all you Mortal Instruments fans, are you excited for the movie to come out? I personally can't wait another minute! Now, all we need is for Clockwork Angel to be a movie, and my life will be complete :D**


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